Hatman sat on the bank of Parody Island, the sea spray dotting his face. He looked out across the bay at Parodiopolis, watching the bustling city. He held a crumpled piece of paper in his clenched fist.
He barely jumped when he heard Dancer’s voice from behind him. “Y’know, I always thought Monitor Duty was a little easier in the room with all the computers and monitors. The seat is comfy, plus we get cable in there.” She stepped out of her shoes and sat next to the Capped Crusader, dangling her bare feet in the water.
“Why do we do it Dancer?” he asked, his gaze not wavering from the bay.
“I hope you’re referring to the whole superhero thing because last I checked we never did ‘it’,” she replied. The joke didn’t have the desired effect.
“No. No, I know why I do the superhero thing. I don’t know why we do the dating thing. Why do we bother with the whole song and dance, the heartache, the b-,” he stopped short of finishing his sentence.
“Go ahead,” Dancer prompted. “Say it.”
“The betrayal.”
“So I take it despite the fact you’ve been assuring all of us that you’re fine with what happened in Candia you actually aren’t.” Dancer kicked her feet a little and twirled her fingers through the grass.
Hatman shrugged his shoulders in response.
“You know, you really are terrible at hiding when something’s bothering you. You go all quiet and barely answer anybody. It’s a dead giveaway,” she chided. Pulling her feet from the water, she crossed her legs into a more comfortable sitting position.
“There’s a reason I go quiet, Dancer. I don’t want to talk about it.” Hatman rose and began to walk away.
“Oh no you don’t buster!” said Dancer sternly as she sprang to her feet. “This has been eating at you since you got back and soon it’s going to start bringing down the entire team.”
“The team? De Brown Streak still doesn’t have any respect for me. Dream is busy going on and on about his sexcapades with April and Lara. Dominic looks ready to cave my skull in every time I even walk past him-,”
Dancer interrupted him. “You did give him a pretty good reason.”
Hatman turned back to face her even as his voice raised. “I’ve apologized for that! I know it was wrong, but dammit, I was trying to make a point! Now he wants to have it out in an all out brawl like perfectly civilized cavemen!”
“Are you sure the reason you don’t want to fight him is you’re worried he’ll beat you?” she checked.
“I’m not scared to fight anyone Dancer. Do you know how much damage and destruction I’m capable of? Because I do. I’ve run the scenarios on what would happen if I went bad, just like I’ve done for every member of this team. The numbers said that, even with Legion interference, I could destroy Parodiopolis inside 12 minutes even if I didn’t go nuclear!”
“That’s pretty powerful,” she conceded.
“Damn right it is! I could waltz right in and take out that entire government before they knew what hit them!”
“We’re not talking about Dominc anymore,” Dancer reminded him.
Hatman’s rant was deflate as he realized what he’d said. “No, I guess we’re not,” he sighed.
“Look, I didn’t come out here to talk about Mr. Epitome. Though you two definitely need to bury the hatchet, by the by. I came to see you because I’ve been where you are right now.”
“Raving about how you could topple an entire government for a woman you can never have?”
“No. Because I’ve been involved with a married person or two in my time. I didn’t know they were married, just like you. But I understand the pain you’re going through. It’s frustrating, because you can’t do anything about it. I just wanted to offer you an ear that knows the source material,” she offered with a smile.
Hatman felt the anger draining away. “I’m sorry I yelled at you Dancer. I know you’re just trying to help.”
“Hey, you can’t always be calm, cool, and collected, right? Just don’t let it happen again or I’ll kick your cape from here to, well, somewhere in Canada,” she threatened. “Well, somewhere not too cold in Canada,” she added.
“Fair enough,” he agreed.
“So you gonna snap out of this funk?” she asked with a grin.
“No, not likely.”
His answer took Dancer back a bit.
“Read this, then you’ll understand.” Hatman tossed the paper crumpled in his palm to Dancer as he headed inside. Dancer unfolded it and held it up.
Dear Jay,
I hope you are well after our battle with Dr. Roentgen. Thanks to your, Shoggoth, I believe it is called, we have all been cleared of the radiation poisoning.
I wished to let you know that I will be in Parodiopolis soon. The Party wishes to continue our superhero exchange program with your Lair Legion, and I have been selected as the next member of the GloPCrAp to visit your country. Arrangements have been made with your government liaison, and I will be arriving in a fortnight.
I have requested you to be my guide while I am visiting. You are not obligated to do so, but I would like it very much. I am looking forward to seeing you again.
Zdenka
Dancer finished reading the letter quickly then raced after Hatman. “Tell me you didn’t agree to be her guide!”
“I don’t really have a choice. Amber wants to keep good relations with the Candians, and she pleaded with me to do it.” Hatman looked down at his feet as he spoke.
“So you said yes.”
“I did.”
Dancer reached up to Hatman’s chin and tilted his gaze to meet hers. “You know, sometimes you’re too nice. But that’s why we love you.” Dancer gave him a quick hug.
“Thanks Dancer. Hey, where are you going?” Hatman asked as Dancer turned and began to stride off purposely.
“Sometimes you need your friends to put your foot down for you. I’m going to see Amber.”
Continued?
